chapter 17f 

(Murder Eye One) 

Moïse Berri 

and the Reconstruction of the Haitian 

Space Agency 

by Jude Jarda 

17f
Murder Eye One 

Big Moose's loyalty is legendary, so is the young man's appetite. The Baudouin-Lacroix twins were certainly not aware of that factor when they came up to the SSG gang's giant with a very unusual proposition, right in the middle of his bacon, eggs and French toasts brunch. Yves Lacroix and his brother, Yvon Baudouin, called from Haiti and promised fifty per cent of Chuck Canada's hidden cash to the SSG's official accountant, if he agreed to go and get that money in the company of one designated close associate of theirs, currently living in Montreal. Big Moose answered to the twins that he was very much interested, but needed more information before taking such an important decision, and consequently becoming a traitor in the eyes of his long time buddies. So the South-Shore goliath cleverly interrogated Yves Lacroix, hoping to squeeze some key facts and get a good hint on the exact location of that famous stash. 

The twin known as Loverboy explained to Moose that he would send a trusted partner to pick him up at the Longueuil-Université-de-Sherbrooke Metro Station around noon, driving a red rented car from the Via Route Company. That dude's job was to guide Big Moose all the way to the coveted treasure, concealed in a place so uncommon, Loverboy believes only a leprechaun have thought about it. Now, Big Moose may be known as a stoner and a drunk who never finished high school, but his knowledge of numbers still rivals the most competent actuary working in the business district of the City of Montreal. 

“Are you calling me from the jungle to pull a prank on me, you sick jackass?” 
“I don't get it. Fffffht! We can bargain a sixty-forty cut at your advantage, bigwig.” 
“If your homeboy knows where to find the dough, why would you need my involvement in your shady venture? Sounds like you're trying to set me up big time, Dessalines ambush style?” 
“There lies our principal problem, partner. The guy I'm sending to you knows the details of the safe; as for you, we were informed that you're more familiar with the global address of the riches. You dig what I'm saying? Fffffht!” 
“I ain't digging shit, motherfucker! Do I sound like a gopher to you? And just wait a minute, that sound you're making... Are you smoking dope, right now, as we're technically planning a breaking and entering plus theft?” 
“Fffffht! So?” 
“What the hell is wrong with you? I don't want any part of this. I'm not getting involved in a job with a stoned individual. Next thing you know, you won't remember a thing about our conversation. It will then be a headache for me to put some order back in your brain if I want to get paid. You're asking me to invest a lot of energy into a complete stranger who could be calling from next door or from a police surveillance truck.” 
“Stop it with the paranoia. I'm calling from Haiti. Can't you hear the poverty in the background? You watch too much of that cinema bullshit. Back to our biz, where talking a hundred thousand dollars, minimum, my good Canadian friend.” 
“There's no way Chuck saved that kind of money before being shipped to Sugarcane Land. I don't know the cost of a lap dance in the savannah, where you live, but over here, or anywhere above the 45th parallel, if your willy participates in any of the choices you make, you're ruined way before you get hard. Chuck has been a strip club VIP all his sorry life. Therefore, I don’t believe in your funny smelling shit talk.” 
“Listen to me, my judicious and highly responsible accomplice, do you want to be rich, yes or no?” 
“Repeat what you've said about Chuck's hiding place.” 
“You bring my man to Paris; he will show you the Eiffel Tower. You land in Kinshasa; he will show you where to find the coltan. Fffffht! Longueuil-Université-de-Sherbrooke metro station, be there alone. No need to bring your heavy hardware. I'll call you back in a moment for more precisions.” 
“And what's the name of the guy, I'm supposed to be meeting?” 
“Pepito, but he prefers to be called Murder Eye One.” 

Big Moose immediately convenes a meeting of the active SSG members at their new headquarters in Saint-Hubert. Moving in the apartment of Florence’s mother was necessary for the time being. According to three news specialty channels, Anaïs and Moose are presently wanted for questioning, regarding the violent shoot out that occurred the night before in the city of Longueuil. When everyone is gathered, Big Moose reveals the content of his conversation with Yves Baudouin-Lacroix to the rest of the gang. The opinion of each companion is taken into account. Ricardo considers this hidden treasure story a complete sham or some kind of set up, orchestrated by the dissidents of the SSG crew, notably Costco, Jedi, Gunjah Spliff or even Two-Face Ace. Paolo thinks it might be real. So he proposes to follow Pepito's Via Route rented car and simply improvise from there. Drive-by argues that sending Big Moose alone would be a major mistake. A recent mug shot of Moose has been shown to millions on National Television in the last hours. The subway system is a crowded place, filled with cameras and citizens carrying smart phones. Florence pleads that the first thing to do is a brief inquiry on the thug named, Pepito. They must find out how tough the fellow really is, who he knows and who knows him. 

The squad goes along with Florence's suggestion. Anaïs starts the research by communicating with the loudest and widest mouths of the South Shore available on the cyberspace. Fifteen minutes later, the comrades are laughing their stomach out. Many people dealt at least once with Pepito. He is the younger brother of Paquito Luis Villacampa, aka San Salvador, aka Fake Gold. Pepito is seventeen. He weighs fifty kilos when wet on a five foot three frame; and his favorite weapon is a cheap air pressure gun bought in person at Canadian Tire. The SSG finally decides it will just show up to the rendezvous and beat Pepito extensively until Mr. Murder Eye One leads them to Chuck's savings. If all of this is a lie or a trap, all members present at the reunion agree, Pepito's mother will cry profusely, many X-rays will be performed on his unconscious body and Provincial Health Insurance will be greatly requested.