Sequence 16g 

(The Unfaithful) 

Moïse Berri 

and the Reconstruction of the Haitian 

Space Agency 

by Jude Jarda 

Sequence 16g 

The Unfaithful 

Pamphile Dutervil normally uses the backdoor to enter his two-story house. A short while after he escaped his pursuers, a legion of cops and gun enthusiasts, the cook climbed the orange tree in his backyard, jumped on the balcony of his residence and accessed the master bedroom on the second floor through an opened window. 

The agitated culinarian is now feeling despondent. In order to break away from the people chasing him, Pamphile Dutervil had to get rid of his treasured suitcase, which contained his brand-new Schumann knives. So when he  sees a bunch of men's clothes scattered all around in the room, and spots the feet of a bald dude sticking out of the mosquito net he bought and installed himself on his own conjugal bed, a group of neurons and synapses of his brain literally snap. The already cranky chef loses his peripheral vision and all the muscles of his body start to contract involuntarily. Something very much like a short-circuit takes place in his central nervous system. 

Before considering first degree murder as an option, Pamphile Dutervil walks on the tip of his toes all the way to the bathroom located at the end of the hallway, where he takes all the time he needs to shave and clean up. Seeing his old face again cheers him a little bit and calms him down. Melissandre Présumé's husband then takes a good look around and quickly concludes that many solid objects available in his surroundings can be used to kill an intruder. But a violent flashback suddenly brings him back to the mountains where he was recently kept prisoner. Pamphile remembers his captor's eyes, when he banged the man's skull on the ground. That image just freezes Senator Fleurant's former chef. Despite the fact that any normal jury would probably label him a slightly demented individual, Pamphile Dutervil's confusion and wrath do not completely attain the recommended level for a temporary insanity plea. 

"Is Melissandre Présumé worth a life sentence?" the cook asks himself. "Nobody is going to die," Pamphile finally decides, "but that man must shit in his pants and be traumatized permanently." 

So the highly upset cuckold chef gets undressed and covers his whole body with baby powder. He then rushes into the bedroom, shouting some nonsensical ecclesiastical made-up Latin prayers and yelling profanities in Creole. Melissandre Présumé wakes up with a jolt, screams, "Doudou!" and then faints. Our lady's man, Léopold de Grâce, the head of the human resources department of the Zanmi d'Haïti Foundation, rolls from the bed and bawls three times that God finally caught him in the act. He then takes the strangest decision. Wiping his tears and crying like a frightened toddler, he plunges head first and naked as a jaybird through the bedroom window. 

©Jajjazz ©Jude Antoine Jarda