chapter 18b 
(The Auditor's Shadow) 



Moïse Berri 
and the Reconstruction of the Haitian 
Space Agency 


by Jude Jarda 

18b 

The Auditor's Shadow 

Immaculée Lamisère convokes a special meeting with the personnel of her NGO, La Mission Baptiste du Calvaire. She wants to tell her staff that besides the problems closely related to the frequent electrical shutdowns, the organization has been spared by the uncontrollable horde of angry villagers roaming the streets of the crumbling commune. The priorities of the institution are still the same. They must keep the steadiness and the quality of the services given to the patients, properly manage the food, the medication and the drinkable water stocks, maintain a good hygiene and apply high standards of prophylaxis to avoid the risks of an epidemic outbreak. Against all expectations, Immaculée Lamisère announces to all her employees and volunteers that Moïse Berri communicated with her by phone just before lunch. 

“Make sure your seatbelts are on,” she warns them, “things are going to start shaking again around here when Mr. Berri comes back home. You know how intense he is. If you are an impostor who puts no heart and zero sweat on the job, you better leave town before he puts his spotlights on your sorry case. The same goes for the intransigents, the exploiters and the liars hiding among you. Betrayers will have to join Moïse Berri's ranks or be a victim of his wrath. I strongly recommend to the abusers and the thieves who infiltrated us to flee the region while they still can. The same advice should be heard by any evildoers standing in front of me today. Those who stole from the poor under my nose. You know who you are. Moïse Berri told me that he would be merciless in dealing with you, heartless dogs. All salaries are provisionally frozen until further notice. It's not that we can't pay you. The problem is with the banks; they maintain that their computer systems are down and can't get money out of their safes. It's obviously a lie. I wasn't born yesterday. But we are a non-violent organization, aren't we, what can we do besides praying and being patient? As for the imminent arrival of that so called Auditor General from Canada, have no fear, it's not even his  profession or specialty. His real name is Rogatien Gingras, the actual legal owner of our building; your ex-boss, for many of you, the champion of the visa promises prank in exchange of brown envelopes or what not; the bizarre clown who used to run the River of Hope NGO before the authorities started looking in his books and archives. Our enemies found a crook to investigate us, a felon of the worst kind. That's why Moïse Berri sent us that document I'm holding; thirty-three pages of useful instructions and information that will protect us against the tricks of that slimy Canadian toad. I've printed hundreds of copies on the back of our requisition forms. Pick yours on the coffee table in the lobby. You will find in those pages, the history of the Mission and plenty of information on the way we administrate things over here. You will also find a detailed summary of our recent activities and basically everything we have done in the last two years with our tiny budget. I am being totally sincere and transparent with you, my dear friends. In return, I want you to be vigilant. I need you to study that document; analyze it and learn it by heart if you can. Face to face with the real Rogatien Gingras, you'll have to be able to anticipate his questions before he even formulates them. I warn you, as real as Saul persecuted David to keep him away from the throne of Israel, the ultimate goal of that renegade is to kick us out of his property and recuperate the papers that proves him the owner of that useless edifice we proudly transformed into an efficient clinic. Use any ruse to keep that sewer rat away from here, do what is necessary to bother and disturb him. I ask the nurses to move their hips like Salome and forget to button up in his presence. Your breasts could very well save us, Ladies. And you, the young men of the housekeeping department, I am well aware that you all smoke pot during your breaks. Offer him your strongest plant and knock him out. Every minute he will spend talking about nothing and dealing with the munchies will be beneficial to us.” 

About fifty people work at the Baptist Mission, including the volunteers. The great majority are listening to every single word coming out of Immaculée Lamisère's mouth. However, some of them clearly have their mind on other important matters. They seemed extremely annoyed by something else than the visit of that shameless dreaded auditor from Canada. 

According to Immaculée Lamisère, Moïse Berri comes next to Christ in a popularity contest. But Reggie Gladu is not okay with that opinion. The electrician and part time surgeon received a troubling email on his smartphone earlier this morning. The short missive menaces to disclose the obscure reasons that pushed the Medicine School of Hanoi to expel him in 1999. To keep him silent, Moïse Berri wants Reggie to perform three simple tasks for him: replace the security camera overlooking La Place des Présidents, repair the two speakers at the entrance of the open-air market of Mizerikod and install a new microphone in the flower pot inside Immaculée Lamisère's office. 

The NGO's handyman and emergency replacement doctor is not the only blackmail victim present at the reunion. Lola Sauvegarde defends the same interests and shares a lot of values with her friend and director of the Mission, but Lola is pro-choice, Immaculée is pro-life. What happened last spring in that clandestine abortion clinic that doctor Sauvegarde keeps open without a permit, in spite of the multiple warnings from the office of the Minister of Public Health and Population, will be communicated to the media if Lola does not fully collaborate with Mr. Berri. 

Mrs. Mangrove has been at the head of the medical archives department for the last three years. People say she is the incarnation of the word discipline. So why can't she find a single copy of the blood exam, the dental and the chest X-rays of Rogatien Gingras? 

Many drug prescriptions have been deliberately altered or simply created by Gabriel Nuscrite. Who is that mysterious Mr. B., a man with no first or last name? His pain must be out of this world to necessitate such a quantity of narcotics in order to be appeased. 

Joe Jean Adam works in accounting and runs the shipping and receiving services. Moïse Berri can certainly pardon his little miscalculations, the man is an agronomist, not a bookkeeper, but why did he close his eyes on the subject of that sealed box in the warehouse? That thing has the shape and the size of a coffin and worms have been coming out of it. Moïse Berri thinks it was a very bad mistake to ignore it and not tell anyone about it for weeks. 

Magdalène Richard is the head nurse during the night shift. Moïse Berri knows the real reason why she insists to be the sole manager of the morgue and the blood bank. 

The dietician in chief of the Baptist Mission obtained her federal pardon from the Canadian Government years ago. Christine Fauteux even got her maiden name back. Moïse Berri has in his possession, twenty-four pictures and five articles taken from a Drummondville newspaper during her highly publicized trial. Would she like to share the details of the crime she committed and talk about her affiliation with the swinger’s community of that city? 

Finally, Moïse Berri did not forget to send a message to Marvel Saint-Hilien, the security head of the American NGO. Even if his salary was multiplied by a hundred, he would still find himself in a very uncomfortable position, if he was asked to explain where he found the money to buy all this newly acquired fertile land and invest in hotels and mining projects in and around the commune of Caracol, in the Nord-Est Department. 

©Jude Antoine Jarda